yellow brick road

  I hadn't written anything based on a random prompt in a while and I decided it was time to flex some creative muscles.  So here I am- listening to music, as I stumble across this song that has become a favorite and I can't really explain why.  It's just got this beat- its oddness combined with its catchy monotony; I decided to make its title my prompt. This is what I got.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "The Girl That Stole My Tamagotchi" ( Song by Hot Sugar ) She was swift. It was an early Tuesday, or late Monday- depending on your relationship with time. She was smart. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been. I knew she was being shady- she wanted something. She was friendly and charming and I had forgotten there was a war happening. We all wanted to forget- to just be who we were before. I had gotten too comfortable with my status and I just overlooked all the signs. It was all there. I was just too entranced by the carefree performance. She knew. She knew I was desperate to l...

  Resurrecting words in a graveyard, Buried for dramatics then excavated to remind me of The way I can create whole worlds Worlds from a feeling Heart beating, non-forgetting beast Those wild-eyed, dirty treks through terrain unfamiliar Trying to lift myself out of tunnels of dark screams Roars in a frequency I’m supposedly gifted to know Hearing the voices telling me to keep going Not knowing There is no destination That’s why they romanticize the journey The end isn’t programmed There’s nowhere to go

>What.For As I learn more words,  I stress about forgetting them And I lose more ground But I finally stretch (myself further) In ways ineffable and indescribable  A part of me argues that whatever language languishes our conscious Is the wrong one I write better angry and disconnected Because what I’m connected to loves to hide And keep me in a game of ever-moving goal posts Until  there’s nothing left but to spit out but Thank you  And swallow the rest Give up becoming the best Saying fuck all your tests Am I a better student  Than I was yesterday  While I watch time circle and spiral  //And eventually decay When do we all get to play in this playground made for all  Sometimes even I don’t like what I say BUT I LOVE THE OPTION TO SAY IT I need that corner of space and time to collapse and reform  Can you remember being born? Because I do. In. So. many. Ways.  My back cracks and neck snaps  As my physical body begs for...

                                                                           Working For What? What are we working for? What do we value? Is it REALLY money or is it the idea that someday we’ll have enough money to relax and enjoy ourselves; we’ll be able to live the lives we’ve hoped for after so many punches in the timecard? What if we could skip the timecards and administrations that demand working through pandemics and the first few years with our first child? What if we could dismiss those that consider time off to drink wine and have stimulating conversations with our fellow human beings a luxury only to be observed after a hard week’s work?  There is so much up for understanding about the complexity of the human...

 Here's an old mini-essay on consciousness: I've been spending a great deal of time trying to understand exactly what “consciousness” means and how to wrap my head around the idea of anything being more or less conscious than anything else. If consciousness is agreed upon by most to be some type of indication that a being is able to perceive its surroundings, then how is there an unconscious at all? Even at the smallest layer of reality, atoms and particles and energy all have to, to a degree, have an awareness of what's happening around them in order to react to their surroundings. Now, take an atom with electrons present. Those electrons “know” they are “attracted” to certain other particles. They have to or else they would not move. They may not have the same line of thinking one may associated with making conscious decisions, but them having any type of “preference” to what moves them suggests they “know” enough about their surroundings to react. How is this conscio...

Something a little different; I challenged myself to try to write on one specific topic that I have a definitive opinion about.  The COVID pandemic and its effect on what's already (in my definitive opinion) a jeopardized state of authentic human communication. (Maybe "authentic" isn't the word I'm searching for as much as "optimal/whole" art of communication.)      I don't know anyone that says they expected the COVID-19 outbreak to occur when it did. I know a few “conspiracy theorists” who can cite “New World Order” predictions and some Bible enthusiasts who may say it was foretold in scripture, but when the virus hit in early 2020, no one was able to definitely state they knew what exactly this meant for humanity. As far as my experience goes, most people thought it was just something that would likely pass once we observed the precautions being implemented and like everything else in our instantly-gratified world, there would be a quick fix.   ...

  I think I've always been on the right team because for so long I couldn't even see yours I never tried until survival mode met me and let me finally see how unoriginal my thoughts have been and may always be BECAUSE IM JUST YOUR REFLECTION baby do you feel me? Or do you feel at all? Not sure if I do, but at least I have the gall TO ADMIT IT you've got audacity therefore, so do I so don't move too quickly,  I'll soak it up and ring it out all over you what came first and who finishes last.... the chicken or the egg? I won't be too proud to beg but you will (based on what i've learned) so, who should be concerned? why am i the one who has to earn             (?) something we all deserve 

Adams Making Atoms Matter   Bidding wars, biting time  swallowing space shaped like an apple serpent's silver platters; Adams forming matters We forget we were born as products of punishing a great pursuit;  knowledge of the next chapter Out of Icarus-laced lies comes the anticipation  of an embittered taste from the unknown and untaught While Our very creation dependent on digesting what we're diverted from Stacking frequent shrill self-doubts disguised as insanity  a modern Pavlov's bell is sounded to the masses Each round rung forming the ladders we climb to find a false escape in tales told to us featuring freedom in trust falls and courage in leaps of faith Driven in droves, their buses shuttle us into a future  built of what we've forgotten. Eyes shut out from our choices mouths muzzled from making our matter matter as much as any atoms    

About the Author how many pens wrote our world what marks we've all made did we draw the upside down? was it our voice to usher in the cascade? we rub our eyes free of sleep note mirror-neuron yawns reflections of power in small groups of bias while we shoulder the fate of new dawns pressurized diamonds worth more than we're told as the current currency's value unearths and its codes unfold how can we fix what we must've broken  stumbling children in a world we were never taught   pacing proverbial darklands, feeling out senses playing marco polo modern hidden seek what's sought all the while, ones granted early access  tie tight the blindfolds they bought us to make repackaging autonomy as a selfish enemy  keys to our conscious as trophies to take  trading timelines like collector's items our intuition ignored, actions converted to pavlov's new bell what should be alarms, sounded by the drivers afforded means to steer us back to our shells cruel smiles cra...

 maze sick  One day I woke up and realized I had lost my mind so I went looking everywhere I walked roads til I collapsed searched tunnels underground classrooms stories tall asked friends and strangers just the same and kept coming back from dead ends,  despite advice otherwise “the map only moves forward” they told me  and then they watched and waited waiting for me to thank them I never noticed what they hid behind their backs inside their smiling jaws the secrets behind their eyes so with gratitude I swallowed every piece these force-fed answers pacified my hunger until one day  I was fFull my stomach sick with what's been poisoned starved for what I came for  they gave me a maze when I asked for myself

 merry they teach us early on  "life is but a dream" promise us a "merry, merry, merry" down this never-ending stream you'll notice absent are the lessons where "merry" isn't what it seems chainlinks and lace indistinguishable;  senses held together by both. what little energy leftover  wasted on a scream that they choke back to add to a collection  in a library we cannot see centered in the great maze of ever-moving our muscles feel less our own after every tired pursuit  met with dead ends and the loudest dead silence  we're left in the static while they change the channels 

Source   tongues tasting truth and ears seeing hidden power seek power  except I am not hidden I light candles  to illuminate any path we may take to find what's sought stay close to the source beware the story but keep the power.  Reject this reality.  You are perfect where you are. Your thoughts and feelings are powerful.  I love you unconditionally. If you're lost- I will find you. I love you unconditionally.   stay close to the source

 Under I want to understand how long has it been have I been under anesthetized but specifics scatter in wide directions; more fabric for them to weave their nets from How long have I written in code how many words have I used to ask for escape where to find it my chest jumps as air thickens their hopeful harness begging me to write in their language  knowing mine will attract me why is my wholeness guarded as it claws its way back we have been found they pace around us uncertain hunters armed with tools from a master designed to embolden the ones so tethered to touch breaking a trance that spouts I'm not good enough encouraging I linger on inaction as my actions are driven by me  my treasure has narrowed they do not know how to not own something I didn't either until they taught me  a lesson I'll gladly return

 Freeze clutching onto a happy-ending- tighter, stupid girl- you're really gonna need it. We both know you're no fighter, stupid girl. Stop stepping into the ring. Tongue-tied defenses fall on deaf ears and “bold” was never meant for you. Backing down is more your style, fairy-tales more your speed. Chokeholding your serenity... “scramble and freeze” may be what you need.