yellow brick road

  Resurrecting words in a graveyard, Buried for dramatics then excavated to remind me of The way I can create whole worlds Worlds from a feeling Heart beating, non-forgetting beast Those wild-eyed, dirty treks through terrain unfamiliar Trying to lift myself out of tunnels of dark screams Roars in a frequency I’m supposedly gifted to know Hearing the voices telling me to keep going Not knowing There is no destination That’s why they romanticize the journey The end isn’t programmed There’s nowhere to go

>What.For As I learn more words,  I stress about forgetting them And I lose more ground But I finally stretch (myself further) In ways ineffable and indescribable  A part of me argues that whatever language languishes our conscious Is the wrong one I write better angry and disconnected Because what I’m connected to loves to hide And keep me in a game of ever-moving goal posts Until  there’s nothing left but to spit out but Thank you  And swallow the rest Give up becoming the best Saying fuck all your tests Am I a better student  Than I was yesterday  While I watch time circle and spiral  //And eventually decay When do we all get to play in this playground made for all  Sometimes even I don’t like what I say BUT I LOVE THE OPTION TO SAY IT I need that corner of space and time to collapse and reform  Can you remember being born? Because I do. In. So. many. Ways.  My back cracks and neck snaps  As my physical body begs for me back  And, here,  I need it  So how, oh how, do I properly f

                                                                           Working For What? What are we working for? What do we value? Is it REALLY money or is it the idea that someday we’ll have enough money to relax and enjoy ourselves; we’ll be able to live the lives we’ve hoped for after so many punches in the timecard? What if we could skip the timecards and administrations that demand working through pandemics and the first few years with our first child? What if we could dismiss those that consider time off to drink wine and have stimulating conversations with our fellow human beings a luxury only to be observed after a hard week’s work?  There is so much up for understanding about the complexity of the human brain and we have been born into a particularly tricky point in time where the internet and ease of technology has allowed our minds to have much more free time. People used to have to work all day to produce a good to trade to survive. With the industrial revolution,

 Here's an old mini-essay on consciousness: I've been spending a great deal of time trying to understand exactly what “consciousness” means and how to wrap my head around the idea of anything being more or less conscious than anything else. If consciousness is agreed upon by most to be some type of indication that a being is able to perceive its surroundings, then how is there an unconscious at all? Even at the smallest layer of reality, atoms and particles and energy all have to, to a degree, have an awareness of what's happening around them in order to react to their surroundings. Now, take an atom with electrons present. Those electrons “know” they are “attracted” to certain other particles. They have to or else they would not move. They may not have the same line of thinking one may associated with making conscious decisions, but them having any type of “preference” to what moves them suggests they “know” enough about their surroundings to react. How is this conscio

Something a little different; I challenged myself to try to write on one specific topic that I have a definitive opinion about.  The COVID pandemic and its effect on what's already (in my definitive opinion) a jeopardized state of authentic human communication. (Maybe "authentic" isn't the word I'm searching for as much as "optimal/whole" art of communication.)      I don't know anyone that says they expected the COVID-19 outbreak to occur when it did. I know a few “conspiracy theorists” who can cite “New World Order” predictions and some Bible enthusiasts who may say it was foretold in scripture, but when the virus hit in early 2020, no one was able to definitely state they knew what exactly this meant for humanity. As far as my experience goes, most people thought it was just something that would likely pass once we observed the precautions being implemented and like everything else in our instantly-gratified world, there would be a quick fix.   

  I think I've always been on the right team because for so long I couldn't even see yours I never tried until survival mode met me and let me finally see how unoriginal my thoughts have been and may always be BECAUSE IM JUST YOUR REFLECTION baby do you feel me? Or do you feel at all? Not sure if I do, but at least I have the gall TO ADMIT IT you've got audacity therefore, so do I so don't move too quickly,  I'll soak it up and ring it out all over you what came first and who finishes last.... the chicken or the egg? I won't be too proud to beg but you will (based on what i've learned) so, who should be concerned? why am i the one who has to earn             (?) something we all deserve