under

 Under



I want to understand
how long has it been
have I been under
anesthetized
but specifics scatter in wide directions;
more fabric for them to weave their nets from
How long have I written in code
how many words have I used to ask for escape
where to find it

my chest jumps as air thickens
their hopeful harness begging me to write in their language 
knowing mine will attract me
why is my wholeness guarded
as it claws its way back
we have been found
they pace around us
uncertain hunters
armed with tools from a master
designed to embolden the ones so tethered to touch

breaking a trance that spouts I'm not good enough
encouraging I linger on inaction
as my actions are driven by me 
my treasure has narrowed
they do not know how to not own something
I didn't either until they taught me 
a lesson I'll gladly return


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